You Are Your Best Thing

“I’m about to run to the store,” I told my husband yesterday. My two-year-old overheard me and said, “I wanna go!” His eyes were big, and his demeanor was hopeful. He looked adorable; if I stared at him any longer, I would turn to mush and convince myself that he should take the journey to Whole Foods with me. But I couldn’t this time. The entire weekend had been filled with me and him, and I desperately needed some alone time - even if it was just a solo trip to the grocery store.

I stooped down to his level, looked into his eyes, and said, “I know you don’t understand now, but mommy needs this alone time. I’ll be right back.” Through his gentle sobs, he murmured, “O-tay.” He watched me through the window while I walked to my car. As I waved at him and hesitantly got in my vehicle, I thought about how, a year ago, I would have given in despite my needs and taken him with me to the store. But at this juncture, I understand self-care on a deeper level and that it’s not just about a day of getting my hair, nails, eyebrows, etc., done. It’s about my well-being and providing myself with what I need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy enough to give my loved ones what they need. Simply put, I have to be nice to me to be my best for him.

I ran across the title of this blog from a sentence in Toni Morrison’s book Beloved. It made me think of how deep self-care goes, how we all are our best assets, and how we should treat ourselves as such. My actions above regarding the solo grocery store trip may seem minuscule, but that little gesture can save someone from a mental breakdown or panic attack. I’m learning that my self-care journey is all about nurturing myself from the inside out. Being acutely intentional about my well-being isn’t easy, but it is forcing me into a beautiful metamorphosis that feels healthy. Even when I’m inclined to give in and play the superwoman role, I remind myself that it won’t produce great results, thus leaving me feeling overburdened, resentful, and pissed off at myself for knowing better and not doing better. So, to help me negate the innate feeling of putting myself last, I am constantly checking in with myself, being aware of what I need, reaching out for help, looking for moments to rest, trying different healing techniques, and feeding my soul literature and information that highlights the benefits of radical self-care. I feel like I’m making my ancestors proud and, most importantly, I’m pleased with my progress.

This journey is not for the faint of heart but for the Black woman who wants to live a long, QUALITY life. Are you in?

Choose you,

- Samjah Iman

Also, we are trying to assemble something for our next gathering soon. You will be the first to know the details as soon as we have our plans.

Talk soon!