Even When You Don’t Like Yourself, Do The Work.
We recently posted a snippet of an interview on our Instagram featuring Quinta Brunson and Oprah Winfrey, where Brunson made a powerful statement about liking yourself. When Winfrey asked, “What question do you think every woman should ask herself?” Brunson replied, “Do I like myself? Do I really like myself when I’m in my room by myself? When I’m with myself, do I like who I am?” I pondered her question and thought that even though I like myself most of the time, sometimes it’s hard - but I still show the hell up for me.
I think about how we (Black women) present ourselves to the world, masquerading behind cute hairstyles, trendy clothing, and makeup-clad faces. Of course, dressing nicely and being put together makes us feel good about ourselves, as it should. But how do we feel about ourselves when shit ain’t going right? When the makeup can’t cover up a broken heart? When the math ain’t mathing? When we make mistakes, tussle with sexism, constantly encounter racism, are emotionally (or physically) abused by a lover, when our dreams are deferred, and when we are constantly undermined by society, do we still feel like we are worthy? Truthfully, it’s hard to keep your self-admiration healthy when dealing with the abovementioned woes; that’s why it’s important to constantly show up for us, even when we are at our worst.
For example, still, perform your skin routine if you don’t feel cute on a particular day. If your weight doesn’t align with your goal, still exercise. If your emotions aren’t stable, journal or talk to someone. You get where I’m going with this. We may not always feel good about ourselves, but we still need to perform actions that benefit our well-being. After all, liking yourself is not just about saying you do; it’s about doing the work to SHOW that you do.
Yes, take mental health breaks when you need them. But after the break, show up because you have work to do. The work we do when we don’t feel up to it aids us in being healthier and better emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. And this is crucial for a better us, our families, and our community.
It’s easy to like ourselves when everything is going well, but the real work happens when we are in the trenches. And we must do the job through all of our emotions.
Show up, sis, even when it’s tough.
On another note, our Waiting to Exhale private screening event was soul-fulfilling! The movie sparked much-needed conversation, and Dr. Danielle Wright was phenomenal. Check out her blog post about the movie and private screening here. We will keep you posted on the next event!
- Samjah Iman